Penance?

Faithful by Alice Hoffman

This book brought out all the feels. I was on the verge of tears many times.

In February of Shelby's senior year of high school, she was in a car accident with her best friend, Helene. Helene didn't die, but "lives" her life on life support. She never wakes up, and suffered brain damage, but her mother can't let her go. Shelby has a great deal of guilt over this, and for the next ten years, feels like their roles should be reversed. She doesn't see her worth in the world, and that is what this book is about.

After the accident, she tries to kill herself, so she is placed in a treatment facility. She won't or can't talk. She is raped every night by an orderly, and a few weeks in she receives a postcard that says simply "Say Something." This is what Shelby needs to be able to tell her mother what is going on, thus getting her removed from the facility. She then spends the next couple of years in her parents' basement, smoking pot and doing a whole lotta nothing.

One day, she moves to Manhattan with her pot dealer. They date, but she feels he is too good for her. She gets a job, steals some dogs, acquires a friend with three children, and makes something of herself. What makes her do these things? She keeps getting these postcards from her "angel."

Shelby's life is far from easy, but because of these postcards, she ends up finding out what (and who) is important. She felt like her life needed to be penance for what happened to Helene, and it kept her from truly trying to be happy. Once she realized it was ok to be happy, she started to be.

This book touched me, and it was a fairly quick read. I highly recommend it.